Was it really worth it for my daughter to go through transition male to female? What can I do for he : Beautiful woman.
Jessica Asked: Was it really worth it for my daughter to go through transition male to female? What can I do for he
I have a daughter who was born a boy but has lived as a girl since she was nine. She is 20 now, has had SRS at age 18 and is a beautiful person inside and out but has no friends and no guy will date her once he finds out the truth. I can't express how frustrating it is so see so many girls she knows of act all polite when they visit her at her apartmentbut never seem to have time to go out anywhere with her. It's like they are shunning her. She says they always have better friends to hang out with. Despite the SRS and her developing into a beautiful woman it has gotten worst and worst for her and she suffers from depression and more and more isolation. She cannot seem to find a job and is too scared to go to school. She had been attending therapy until the last couple of years. She has turned to cigarettes and alcohol and I don't even want to know what else inside her apartment which my husband and I are paying for. She says it has always been this hard and she won't cooperate and try therapy again. We are considering not paying for the apartment until she goes back to therapy but that will mean she will end up back at home. I guess my real question is what can we do about her? The bottom line is she can't have any friends without worrying they will find out so she tells them her past. And this causes them to eventually shun her whether she's a good friend or not. The whole thing sickens me and we need some advice!
Answers:
try and find other mtf people for her to hang out with look on line or something
have a look on google for local lgbt/transgender support groups or social groups in your area she can attend to meet people, they will give her help and support + meet friends who are going through the same issues as her
I'm amazed that these issues weren't addressed before she transitioned, let alone had SRS.Her therapist must be one of the least competent I've ever heard described.
She needs therapy.If she shows no sign of maleness, as you indicate, then her fear of people finding out who she is seems almost pathological to me.When I meet someone for the first time, I don't give them a recitation of my medical history.I just interact with them.I may talk about my personal history, but I don't go into intimate details.I think your daughter needs to be the same way.I'm not advocating stealth.I don't really know how I feel about stealth, frankly, but I'm pretty open.I'm just saying your daughter needs to start meeting people as herself.If the topic of being trans comes up later, fine, she can deal with it then.If it never comes up, then it obviously wasn't important.In any event, let people get to know her for who she is and how good a friend she can be before they deal with her past, if they ever have to deal with it at all.
I guess what I'm saying is that your description of her makes her sound as uncomfortable with her body now as before transition and SRS.Again – she needs to talk to a therapist to get over that.
And, by the way, if this is a troll, I sincerely hope you rot in Hell.These are not issues to make jokes about.
my guess is that your daughter has other problems.if she transitioned at nine, then she's had more than enough time to adjust.i have to agree with leah, if she refuses therapy then there isn't a whole lot can be done for her.
by the way….she wasn't born a boy, she was born a girl with male secondary sex characteristics….and there is no such thing as "too attractive for a girl who was born a boy."
again, as leah pointed out….there have been thousands and thousands of us who have transitioned <usually much, much later in life than your daughter> and have moved on to have successful and happy lives.there is no shortage of people out there who don't "shun" us…i didn't transition until my fifties and i have a whole lot more friends now than i had before…and i make no secret of my transsexualism.
guilt and shame….gotta lose that stuff, it'll kill you in the end.
much love and hope.pj
